Fe, Fi, Fo, Fear
Bugs or Walls
by Susan Baganz
I often think of fear as this humungous monster ready to devour me. In reality it’s more like an annoying gnat or fruit fly. Flits around in an erratic patter to distract and annoy, but impossible to catch and kill.
We lose ourselves in fighting little things and making them bigger than they really are.
I’m an expert at this. I call it proactive worrying. I have to remind myself that God’s already in the future. He’s there and I can trust Him. I have a lifetime of examples of His faithfulness and leading me through things that I definitely could never have done on my own.
God is bigger than my fear. My word for 2016 is “Fearless.” The scripture I paired with it is the: “Say to those with an anxious heart, take courage, fear not.” (Isaiah 35:4 NASB). I don’t think I’m alone in this.
My biggest fear? I’m afraid no one will ever really love me.
Maybe that’s why I write love stories. There is something beautiful about God with skin on, especially in a relationship between a man and a woman. I’ve witnessed real life examples of this.
And outside of marriage: I’ve been hugged by God. I’ve seen Him at work. He and I have a history of watching His faithfulness to me for over thirty years. He really loves me, but there are days when that doesn’t feel like it’s enough.
Ouch. Did she just say God wasn’t enough?
Not really. I said I couldn’t ‘feel’ it. Because fear is an emotion but also a physical manifestation of something going on inside. Think of it this way. If I’m freezing cold but there is a brick wall between me and a warm fire, even though I know it’s there … I’m still going to be shivering.
When fear isn’t an annoying fly—it can be a wall keeping me from the love and warmth God desires for me. I can attempt to kill the fly or bang my head against a wall. Either way it can drive me mad. Sometimes it takes another human being to help us find the door through that wall, or help us put a threat into perspective so we can experience the warmth of His love.
I’m grateful to those who do that for me. Who are Jesus with skin on. Who I can call and cry with. Who will drop everything to meet for lunch or talk on the phone. And pray.
Fear can be an annoying bug or a big wall. Sometimes we let it go and other times we need help to get through it. The challenge then is knowing when and who to ask. Thankfully God’s always available and over the years He’s provided many others as well.
Fear doesn’t have to keep us from following Him when we can acknowledge its presence and that we have a power within us that is bigger.
Keep pressing forward in spite of the fear to taste the faithfulness of God.
And if you need a laugh – watch this commercial featuring Aaron Rodgers. I am after all from Wisconsin, home of the Packers.
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ABOUT FETA & FREEWAYS:
He’d never noticed her…till now.
Nikolos Acton is the lead singer of a Christian Band, Specific Gravity, struggling to make it in the industry after an unplanned break, touring the country with their manager, Tia.
Tia Bartel loved Niko for the longest time, but it wasn’t until she stepped in to save his life that he finally realizes what has been there all along. Is it too late for him? Could a relationship between them work after years of ignoring her? How would he ever convince her he’s worthy of her trust?
As they journey on the freeway of life and love, they encounter struggles as they are forced to rely on their faith, and friends, to make it through.
ABOUT SUSAN BAGANZ:
Susan M. Baganz chases after three Hobbits, and is a native of Wisconsin. She is an Acquisitions Editor with Prism Book Group, specializing in bringing great romance novels and novellas to publication. Susan writes adventurous historical and contemporary romances with a biblical world-view.
Susan speaks, teaches, and encourages others to follow God in being all He has created them to be. With her seminary degree in counseling psychology, a background in the field of mental health, and years serving in church ministry, she understands the complexities and pain of life as well as its craziness. She serves behind-the-scenes in various capacities at her church and is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW), and serves on the board of the southeast chapter. Her favorite pastimes are lazy…snuggling with her dog while reading a good book, or sitting with a friend chatting over a cup of spiced chai latte.
You can learn more by following her blog www.susanbaganz.com, her Twitter feed 6894 @susanbaganz or her fan page, www.facebook.com/susanmbaganz.