After I became a Christian, excitement filled my soul. God was awesome! He was moving in my life and doing such wonders that prayer was almost an afterthought. I spent most of my time alternating between praising his almighty Name and thanking Him. Experiencing the real and true power of God for the first time in my church life of eighteen years sent me reeling and I was on cloud nine.
Rough period number one arrives… Dutifully, I hit my knees. In tears, I turn everything over to God but He doesn’t answer my prayer! Oh, I am mad! Why, Lord? Why won’t you answer me? I quit going to that church and go to another. I stop reading that study and start this one. My answer is somewhere I know it is. Eventually, things smooth over or maybe they get tucked away.
Rough period number two…SLAM! This time, I am knocked off my feet. Again, I fall on my face before God. I wait and wait. No answer. I think I am not being patient, so I wait a little longer and still no answer. The devastation I feel at this time is hard to describe. I honestly feel abandoned by my Lord. I petition fellow Christians and am told that it is a “lack of faith” or that I am not praying “hard enough.” I know both of these to be false. So, I wait with a little anger at God deep inside my heart.
Eph 6:18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people.
Studying prayer through the years, I have realized that it is so much more than a list of demands that I rattle off to God when I need Him. The agenda I take to God is not His but mine. The answers I seek are my solution to whatever problem I face. It is no wonder that I have been met with silence. Oh, I still find myself going to God with an agenda or two and the quiet is deafening! Instead of getting angry, I examine the prayer I just uttered. What do I want God to do? Why? After evaluating my own hidden desires, I try it again. I leave it in the almighty Lord’s capable hands and trust Him to handle it.